In the midst of a crisis

When a nightmare that I've been waiting for for years to come true comes true and the rug is pulled from under my feet, my mental stamina is low. And yet I should pretend to be able to function normally in everyday life, when all I want to do is cry and collapse. And study deadlines are approaching. "For the former world has passed away"

 

Stress of course causes and worsens endometriosis pain. My hip has been hurting more than usual, and has slowed my walking even slower than usual. Is that because of perimenopause? Now I have also had other joint pains, and even strange muscle pains. And my sleep has also decreased for a long time already. I always use melatonin before going to bed, but these days I wake up abnormally early in the morning and usually can't fall back asleep.

I have way too much unnecessary stuff and I should try to get rid of it. While trying to do that, I went through a music book from 1989, calles School Music 5-6. Are children still taught such misogynistic songs today? On the song Orient Express, an old maid wants to be raped. Then, for example, the song Oman kullan silmät, to which our elementary school teacher taught us additions that denigrate women. Or Minun kultani kaunis on. So beautiful that even horses laugh at her.

 

 

I managed to clog the kitchen sink. I poured mouthwash and dog ear cleaner into it. At least the mouthwash had tea tree oil in it, but mouthwash should never contain anything that clogs drains, because mouthwash always ends up in the drain anyway. And there was no oil or grease in that ear cleaner either, but alcohol and peroxide, among other things. But the drain still got blocked. Even the home plumber stuff didn't help, only a plunger. I'm such a loser that I'll probably destroy the whole house.

The idea came to me to watch my favorite movie Gone with the Wind (affiliate link) for Easter. I had been thinking for a while that it had been a while since I last watched it. And of course I needed an excuse to finally use this picture. Maybe the day I hate, Good Friday, will be spent with this movie, after all it's a 4 hours long plus intermission.

 

I had to post a couple of pictures on my The Bold and the Beautiful blog, which I thought Google would complain about. But I thought Google would consider strangulation pictures as violence. I was wrong, Google bots think they are sex. What does it say about our wonderful modern times that strangulation is no longer violence but sex?