At the breaking point

I just can't stand that there are so many new health problems that supposedly require a doctor's visit. For example, that bump under my eye. If I try to search for information about it online, I'm not be able to, because the results only show lumps that are visible on the eyelids. This bump of mine is completely invisible, it can only be felt under the skin.

When there are so many things wrong and so many bumps, it's hard to know which one should be the first to rush to the doctor. And when I can't decide, I won't do anything? I assume that the hard spot in your armpit is also due to endometriosis, because I've had supposed endo pain in both armpits for years. But I don't think I'll ever get through to that student health chat.

 

 

The math exam was terrible. I think that if the exam has both theory and calculations, the theory questions should come first, the calculations take so long. When you're only just getting started on task 7 and time is running out on an exam with over 20 questions. When you think you won't be able to pass the exam just because you only have time to do a small part of the tasks. Terrible stress, and fight or flight continued long after the exam. Well, in the end, I had no less than 13 minutes left in the hour and a half exam, and I got 31/35 points.

Everything is so annoying when I have pain and PMS. It's also annoying that text from one of my blogs was copied elsewhere without citing the source.

 

 

This time Lidl didn't actually have sugar-free milk chocolate, just dark. I'm afraid they've stopped making it.

Well, I finally got to borrow game Resident Evil Requiem from the library... It's a shame that survival horror doesn't suit me.

 

 

Panic and lumps ensue

I don't have the resilience to endure anything. First, I couldn't sleep due to mental reasons. I can manage during the day, but at night when I try to fall asleep, I'm alone with my thoughts. Then stress caused and worsened pain that made it difficult to sleep.

And when one stressor subsided a little, then I started panicking again about a "new" sore in my mouth. It's been there for a really long time. I've been to the dentist or dental hygienist 4 times in less than a year, and no one has ever said anything about it. It's not canker sores. It's a painless, white bump or blister that's been growing all the time. I didn't think it was anything before, but now I suddenly disagree. Try to sleep with it then... And I'm supposed to go to the dentist again?! Is it my fault for not asking about it last time?

 

 

 

If there is no endometriosis pain, there will always be other pains. After the Olympics, I was bothered by neck and eye pain. And now the endo pain has been bad. My stomach, chest, armpits and thighs hurt, so it's no fun. Sometimes I also wake up because of my chronic hip pain.

And now I also made the mistake of finishing a short story after a long time, and I am working on another one. And then my eyes started to hurt. I am always afraid that I will have the same episode as about a year ago. Then I first had visual disturbances, then numbness on one side and pain. Was it a migraine or what? I read that eye strain can trigger migraines.

 

I started dreaming about a new frying pan, and local market would have had a -30% offer. The last time I bought a frying pan, there were no Finnish ceramic ones available, but now there are. I have two requirements for a frying pan: it must be 28cm and ceramic.

Many of Sandra Brown's older books were only available at a remote library. I still had four of them unborrowed and unread. Last time I reserved two of them. Then I looked at the last two, but they had disappeared from the library's selection. I never thought that this would be my last chance.

Something strange is happening in Russia. One day, one of my blogs had been visited from Russia 30,000 times. Is Russia trying to hack Blogger through my blog, or what is going on? Suspicious activity.

 

Autumn dress mania

Autumn came with a bang. It was literally the last moment to go on a cruise if you wanted to go on a summer vacation. Even a day later, it wouldn't have worked.

And exactly the same thing with my own health. I wondered about the swelling in my stomach after the trip, and a day or two later severe endometriosis pain began.

My computer screen has started to scare me. Sometimes it goes dark unexpectedly, and only comes back on when I close it and open it again.

Dresses

I bought dresses from online second hand store. Two dresses from the same seller saved on postage, the dresses themselves only cost one and two euros. These were on sale for a long time but nobody bought them. A black party dress (size 38) and a violet-gray sheath dress (38).

 

But then when I tried to buy the third dress (a black sheath dress, size 36), the online store wouldn't let me do that. Every time I got the message "Your bid failed. Please check the information you entered and try again." The product in question was on sale with supposedly safer service. It's really safe to buy when you can't buy at all. I then corresponded with their customer service, and finally I was able to buy the dress.

 

 

Then I was sad to find out that all these dresses are too big for me. The usual story, lots of clothes but nothing to wear. Too small, too big, see-through, too short, ill-fitting. I still don't know what to wear to my grandma's funeral.

Movies

This fall I would like to do many things, but they all cost (too much).

The book The Long Walk is one of my favorite works of Stephen King. I've been waiting for decades for it to be made into a movie. And now it's premiering on the day of my grandma's funeral. It's been many years since I last went to the movies, can you still buy tickets the same way you used to? I mean buy online and pick them up at the box office? But I hear that movie tickets cost 20 euros these days...

The last Downton Abbey movie is also premiering on the same day. But I hate a certain DA character so much that I can't stand it. Killed Sybil, fu.

 

 

Friday 12.9.: my grandmother's funeral, the premieres of The Long Walk and Downton Abbey, the release date of the Borderlands 4 game, the start of the World Athletics Championships.

The play Murder on the Orient Express will be performed at the local theatre this autumn, which I am always interested in. But the tickets cost over 40 euros. It's a bit of a shame that I don't have a student card, I could get a discount on many things.

It would also be nice to go bowling. I've never been to the new bowling alley here.

 

Heart symptoms

On last week's Tuesday I played too much Dreamlight Valley, which I borrowed from the library. After midnight I ate the leftovers from a bag of chips when I felt sick. My left arm went numb and my heart was pounding. My neck was a mess, of course. At half past four in the morning I woke up and my heart was pounding so much that I had to take pills. Aspirin, hawthorn and magnesium.

 

 

My heart has been fine for a long time, and I don't know what caused this. It usually happens after drinking, and I haven't done that this year. When you know that the cause of the numbness in my left hand is either a heart attack or a neck strain. On the other hand, tartar removal and bleeding/inflammation of the gums can cause anything.

I remember my worst period six years ago, which basically started on Midsummer's Eve and lasted past my birthday. Then I finally got a pneumothorax, and I was literally so low on oxygen that I couldn't even go out to eat on my 40th birthday.

I took NAC for a few days after a long time because I was having pain in the ass caused by endometriosis. It's unlikely that it's related to anything.

 

 

 

Meridol mouthwash

 

I have been using Meridol mouthwash occasionally for decades. Now I noticed that its formula has been changed by adding many different substances. One of them is a sweetener, I don't understand why when xylitol was already in it. My mouth burned after using it, it's hard to know which of the new substances caused it. So goodbye Meridol. I also noticed that other mouthwashes also use a lot of sweeteners. It's hard to find a mouthwash that can't contain, for example, alcohol or sorbitol, and that mouthwash should be specifically intended for the well-being of the gums.  

 

OLD Meridol mouthwash
Aqua, Xylitol, PVP, PEG-40 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Olaflur, Aroma, Stannous Fluoride, Sodium Saccharin, CL 42051.

NEW Meridol mouthwash
AQUA, GLYCERIN, XYLITOL, PVP, ZINC LACTATE, OLAFLUR, POLYGLYCERYL-4 CAPRATE, AROMA, SODIUM FLUORIDE, SACCHARIN, SUCRALOSE, CL 42051.

 

 

 

Resident Evil 9

It's a bit of a bummer. How many game shows have I watched over the years just because I wanted to see when RE9 was announced? How many hours?

Last week, at midnight Finnish time, Summer Game Fest started. At 1:15 I gave up. About an hour later, I found out that RE9 was announced right when I wasn't watching. So, time to cry.

What did I learn from this? Don't watch game shows, it's pointless anyway.

 

 

 

Dumb phone

If I'm still alive, I'll probably have to give up using my phone. They claim that non-smartphones won't soon work at all. So the marginalization is real. Well, why would I need a phone living under a bridge?

 

 

In the midst of a crisis

When a nightmare that I've been waiting for for years to come true comes true and the rug is pulled from under my feet, my mental stamina is low. And yet I should pretend to be able to function normally in everyday life, when all I want to do is cry and collapse. And study deadlines are approaching. "For the former world has passed away"

 

Stress of course causes and worsens endometriosis pain. My hip has been hurting more than usual, and has slowed my walking even slower than usual. Is that because of perimenopause? Now I have also had other joint pains, and even strange muscle pains. And my sleep has also decreased for a long time already. I always use melatonin before going to bed, but these days I wake up abnormally early in the morning and usually can't fall back asleep.

I have way too much unnecessary stuff and I should try to get rid of it. While trying to do that, I went through a music book from 1989, calles School Music 5-6. Are children still taught such misogynistic songs today? On the song Orient Express, an old maid wants to be raped. Then, for example, the song Oman kullan silmät, to which our elementary school teacher taught us additions that denigrate women. Or Minun kultani kaunis on. So beautiful that even horses laugh at her.

 

 

I managed to clog the kitchen sink. I poured mouthwash and dog ear cleaner into it. At least the mouthwash had tea tree oil in it, but mouthwash should never contain anything that clogs drains, because mouthwash always ends up in the drain anyway. And there was no oil or grease in that ear cleaner either, but alcohol and peroxide, among other things. But the drain still got blocked. Even the home plumber stuff didn't help, only a plunger. I'm such a loser that I'll probably destroy the whole house.

The idea came to me to watch my favorite movie Gone with the Wind (affiliate link) for Easter. I had been thinking for a while that it had been a while since I last watched it. And of course I needed an excuse to finally use this picture. Maybe the day I hate, Good Friday, will be spent with this movie, after all it's a 4 hours long plus intermission.

 

I had to post a couple of pictures on my The Bold and the Beautiful blog, which I thought Google would complain about. But I thought Google would consider strangulation pictures as violence. I was wrong, Google bots think they are sex. What does it say about our wonderful modern times that strangulation is no longer violence but sex?

 

Misery and brokeness

Last week was pure crap. Endometriosis pain. Had to try to study for an exam. I went for a run with the help of painkillers. On Friday I started having joint pain, which I don't know now if it's due to premenopause or just my family's strong rheumatism genes. Yeah, it could also just be due to endometriosis.

 

 

It was another tough weekend. The World Cup in Lahti, and the World Indoor Athletics Championships in some place far away. My neck can't handle that kind of watching. There were some strange long relays in athletics, or should I say strange countries involved. No Belgium or Holland in either, neither in the men's nor the women's.

And then this Monday there was an exam. I thought I was ready to give up on my studies if I couldn't pass that mandatory course exam. I barely passed the first part of that course. But I got almost perfect points in that second part. I can't understand it.

Somehow I managed to force myself to finish another short story last week. On Friday I got 2 new short story ideas, and on Sunday a third. But I knew which short story I wanted to finish next, this week. And that one was already done today. What's next? When will that vacation or a break or the feeling of finishing something come? I can't be happy about finishing a short story when there are a million more in line, and I haven't made any progress on the novels.

 

 

This week went better in terms of pain. I was already thinking that I was feeling okay, and even my favorite streamer streamed on Tuesday after a long time. But on Tuesday night, I got a stomachache. I can never understand how a stray fart can cause such severe pain.

And then today, Wednesday, my computer broke down, meaning I can't trust anything anymore. First the mouse wouldn't move, and then the screen went crazy. My spouse immediately diagnosed that the graphics card had crashed, and replacing the graphics card helped. If I didn't have someone who knows about computers at home, I would be screwed. I would have to take my computer to somewhere to be repaired. So how? By taxi? Is there a computer repair service that does house calls? But I wouldn't even be able to find information about repair services without a working computer. And the repairmen would have full access to all the files on the computer, oh the horror. Do I have to start spring cleaning the computer? One option would be to learn how to repair a computer myself, but that's not gonna happen. It's terrible that my whole life is on a computer. For example, all my login information and passwords. Without this particular computer, I wouldn't be able to log in anywhere anymore.

My mouse has been acting up for a long time. Whenever I try to paint text, it only paints after several attempts. And when I try to paste text at the cursor position, far too often the text goes somewhere other than the cursor position. Both in the word processing program and here on Blogger. And it's not even a very old mouse.

 

 

And my eyes just can't take this life. What can I do for them? I guess I should use some moisturizing drops, but no can do because they're not free either. It's been 25 years since my last eye exam. But the FSHS doesn't have an ophthalmologist or anything else where I could get help for overworked eyes. Of course, it doesn't help that I also have rosacea in my eyes. Living the life with multiple conditions.

I'm looking forward to the culmination of the ski jumping season this weekend in Planica. But I'm not looking forward to the competitions being too early. Why do they have to start at 10:30 am?

There's something bad coming next week, we'll see what the verdict is. But the GTA Marathon also starts at the end of next week, yippee?

I have nothing to say

A few weeks ago one night I started having a burning pain in the middle of my chest. From there it would sometimes move to, for example, my heart and lower abdomen. This pain started when I was thinking about things. Thinking should be forbidden for me. When even so-called positive stress and excitement about things can cause such bad pain. So things are fine.

One Sunday I was wondering why my stomach muscles were so sore. Well, it was because of the wild party the day before. When I was sitting on the armrest of the sofa in a bad position. Then it was nice to have endometriosis pain and stomach muscle pain at the same time. I'm starting to be even more convinced that the blood in my nose during my period is due to endometriosis. Yeah, I'm just delusional.

I was home alone again for a week recently. Surprisingly, this time I didn't have any trouble sleeping. I didn't have time to think about literal bad things because I had other things on my mind.

 

 

I tried to look for a manual for my mobile phone in the boxes of the wardrobe so that I could change to a cheaper phone plan. I couldn't find the manual. And I searched in vain, since it's online. The hardest part is always trying to remember the model of my phone, luckily I had written it down on this blog (Nokia 1100). I opened the phone without the manual, but I didn't dare remove the battery. We'll see if Globetel is a scam company, and what all goes wrong.

I should go through my belongings anyway, probably as a way of cleaning out the house, but I just can't. I have diaries, calendars, notebooks, letters and other papers in the boxes. For example, notebooks where I have written down the results of ski jumping competitions.

Well, I finally managed to put a cardboard box full of cat stuff in the wardrobe. It had been waiting to be moved in the kitchen for quite a few months. I still haven't gotten around to going through the cat toys.

 

 

Even this little bit of doing things was taking its toll on my body, my back started to hurt. And the next morning when I woke up I had a terrible stomach ache, I thought if it continued I wouldn't be able to go for a run.

I finally opened a bottle of iron supplement that had expired a few months ago. Why I only did it now is because I'm scared of the side effects of iron. I read about new symptoms that iron deficiency can cause, such as bruxism. The bottom line is that there's nothing that iron deficiency can't cause.

Pain causes more pain

I can happily report that I am currently not suffering from constipation. I have only taken two magnesium oxide pills a day, and it has been enough. I started taking them with cheese to prevent its constipating effect, and I was surprised how well it works.

I took the student health service's health survey, and surprisingly, based on it, I was automatically booked for a dental check-up. I claimed in the survey that I haven't been to a dentist for at least five years. I don't remember how long it really has been. I have been to a dental hygienist though. I have been putting off going to the dentist because I'm afraid of what will be revealed. It started almost two years ago, I clenched my teeth while sleeping and they suffered because of it.

And unfortunately, I don't think the student health service has any gynecological services at all anymore. At least, they say on their website that they only offer general practitioner-level services in gynecology. I would still like to get that ultrasound. In fact, when I looked into the matter, they only have general practitioners these days. The whole thing is ruined, meaning students are forced to pay for it and get nothing in return.

"I can't take it anymore"

- a message in a Facebook endometriosis group

And so it happened that right after I got an appointment with the dentist, I started having terrible mouth pain. Endometriosis pain was bad and I was grinding my teeth together while sleeping again. I don't know if the mouth pain and symptoms were just because of that, or also because of something else. One spot on my gum was really swollen and sore. It was hard to believe that it could heal on its own. The same spot has had symptoms many times before, but not this bad. So it's the spot where a wisdom tooth was removed about 20 years ago.
 

So when endometriosis pain subsides, my mouth has been so sore that it's difficult to eat. It makes no sense that I'm developing a bruxism problem at such an "old" age. And when my mouth hurts, it increases stress and bruxism even more.

Nothing can come of this life when there's always something bad or pain going on. I'm starting to feel so exhausted physically and mentally.

Carol of Duty

 

These symptoms started on a night when I couldn't sleep because my heart was pounding from stress, and I happened to see the end an episode of the Walking Dead's  Daryl-series on TV. Carol was there! I had been wondering what happened to Carol for a long time. Carol was a badass like she always is, and she was a special guest star. And later I found out that that was probably the final episode of the season... I always hoped that Daryl and Carol would end up together...

I used to have horrible Walking Dead (affiliate link) addiction, I couldn't stop watching the show even I wanted to. But then I hit a limit when Carl died, and I stopped watching immediately.

 

TMI: What would help with constipation?

TMI stands for "too much information", meaning you shouldn't read this post.

 

 

I feel like I'm following in the footsteps of my cat Olivia (and also my guinea pig's!). And that is right for me?

To celebrate the new year, my constipation got worse. Years ago, I suffered from diarrhea during my period. Then it turned into constipation. So I assume this is due to intestinal endometriosis.

 

 

What helps with constipation?

I normally eat sugar-free candies almost every day.

The problem with dried plums is that they have too many carbohydrates. And an opened bag doesn't stay good long. I usually prefer plum puree meant for kids. Although nowadays I use pear-plum puree, because it's much cheaper.

There's some of Kali's laxative (which has macrogol/PEG in it) left, and I've had to use it. This and other laxatives from the pharmacy have potentially bad side effects, and at least some of them shouldn't be used long-term.

Cola has been shown to help with intestinal blockages, but my teeth can't handle it. I think that taking laxatives together with Cola could be particularly effective.

I had completely forgotten about magnesium oxide, and I noticed that I have almost a full jar of it.

Psyllium is said to help with constipation, but it can also make it worse and even cause intestinal blockage, especially if you don't drink enough water with it. I have almost a full bag of psyllium after Olivia, but I haven't dared to try it yet.

Alcohol. Hangover shit ftw? After all, I'm an Absolutist. Vodka+cola is the best.

 

As I've complained many times before, it sucks to having to pay to shit. But I have to think positively, I don't have to pay for my cats Olivia and Kali to shit anymore. (this wine's name means "ass tax" in Finnish)

 

 

Am I supposed to stop eating cheese? It can cause constipation. I haven't eaten cheese now and my teeth are already complaining about it. Cheese is the only thing that helps to my damaged tooth enamel.

And from the beginning, it's felt like that seed crispbread is making things worse. It feels like if I ate it every day for breakfast, I'd never shit again. I guess I should buy eggs and alternate with those two in the mornings.

 

I had a colonoscopy (and gastroscopy) about ten years ago. It was an incredibly painful experience. I can only imagine how much worse it would be now that the situation has clearly worsened. My bowel has tightened even more. I didn't even suffer from constipation back then.

It's terrible to think about what kind of damage endometriosis might have done to my intestines. Even in the "best" case scenario, I would have to have surgery to remove some my bowel and probably get a stoma, either temporary or permanent. I don't know how I would survive that. The adhesive from the tapes alone would itch terribly, not to mention everything else.

In the worst case, you die from an intestinal blockage caused by endometriosis without getting treatment, like a young woman in Sweden a few years ago. Yes, you can die from endometriosis, or at least from medical errors.

 

But like I noticed with cats, if the basic requirements for life are not present anymore... then life simply cannot continue.

Perimenopause

For a change, something other than cats, i.e. my old news.

Back then, in a more innocent time when I wasn't yet living in a nightmare called Olivia and Tabitha don't exist anymore, I suffered from pain for a long time. My period just wouldn't start, and that's why the worse endometriosis pain just continued and continued. For a long time I've had shorter cycles from time to time due to perimenopause, but now was the first longer cycle. It must have been decades since I last had such a long cycle. And back then that was also probably due to the fact that I was too thin/I ate too little. I've also lost weight now and eat too little, but yes, the reason for this is perimenopause.

 

 

 

And then the fun finally started. The flow was absolutely awfully abundant, just gushing out like from a faucet. As if I wasn't iron deficient enough already. If this trend continues as menopause approaches, I think I'll bleed out.

So, first there was a too long cycle, and then terrible bleeding. The next period started far too early, and that happened to be on the day Tabitha died. It would be a good idea to get an ultrasound to see if I have, for example, fibroids, they are common at this age. Let's see if student health care offers such a service. And even if they do, is there any chance of getting an appointment?

 

And what other nice things have happened? When Olivia died on Saturday, the last time I had been out was on Friday of that week. And then I had been wondering what was on my upper thigh for a couple of days. Only on the night between Monday and Tuesday I finally investigated the matter in more detail. A tick! I walk in nature with bare ankles, why did the tick want to climb up to my upper thigh? I thought they would stay where they bite.

It was difficult to remove the tick, but fortunately it was successful so that it vomited only after removing it. But it was allowed to sit there for too long, I'll probably get all the diseases. I hadn't made any checks for ticks. After that, I have had to change my walking routes so that my bare ankles are not exposed to the undergrowth anymore.

Let's see what will come from that. A ticking time bomb inside me? I wouldn't be interested in a course of antibiotics because of a possible borreliosis infection.

 

 

Soon my studies are about to start. Frankly, I don't give a damn. Especially when I don't have many things that are mandatory for them. Like a smartphone and a computer camera. So I guess it won't be possible.

 

 

 

International Women's Day 2024

Happy Women's Day to those who still believe in the existence of women.

If this modern-day nonsense had been in fashion in my youth, I would certainly have believed myself to be non-binary then. Because I don't fit into that narrow mold of femininity. 

I have also always thought and said out loud that I will never experience any good aspects of femininity, only negative ones. Femininity may even kill me.

 

 

And what else would I do to celebrate Women's Day than play my favorite game. Of course, femininity tries to prevent that with bad health.

 

 

Of course endometriosis has rarely been found in men as well. It seems like the few men with endo get diagnosed and treated much faster than women. Because a man's pain is taken seriously, a woman's is not. I am currently reading the book Unwell Women, which tells about how women have been treated in the history of medicine.

But when it comes to celebrating femininity by gaming, I couldn't decide if I should only play as female characters in honor of women. Or as a man wearing swimming trunks?

 

"Do I have covid because I can't smell cat poop?"

At worst, Olivia has diarrhea 3-4 times in a row and may even vomit somewhere in between. Even one evening I was washing my hands after the second or third shit when she threw up. After a while I sat on the bed and didn't notice that Olivia pooped on the bedroom floor...

Kali has started to reject her Felix soup, where her medicine, laxative and Wenefro are hidden. I then decided to try Ipakitine for the kidney failure, which caused Olivia diarrhea due to the lactose it contains. Well, Kali still hasn't had the same effect even after many days. Ipakitine has worked well for Kali, and even with a laxative. It feels a bit like she could use even a little more laxative.

With her medication, Kali has become more restless. These days we call her an ADHD cat. She sleeps less than before, and often wanders around. It is also strange that after her illness/medication Kali's nose has started to darken. It feels like there are always more dark spots.

 

 

The pain consequences of pain stress?

I myself have suffered especially from pains and an inflamed feeling in the area of the teeth, mouth and jaw. The pain in that place of the wisdom tooth was startling, but luckily it went away.

I just can't stand how unfair it is that pain increases pain. Well, it is said that jaw and neck pain is common in thoracic endometriosis. (research on the connection between endo and jaw joint pain) Of course, I don't know what causes what, but biting teeth together and keeping jaws in the wrong position does not reduce the pain at least.

Regarding endometriosis pains, a week ago on Friday night, while playing Friday, I started having a nagging pain in my lower back from time to time. On Saturday, the interval between twinges kept getting shorter. There was also a stronger pain in one part of the upper thigh, so that one evening it was even more difficult to exercise. Those pains went away, until on Thursday the pain in the lower back started again, this time more permanently, so that it feels like I can't sit much.

 

 

And there would be so much to do on the computer these days. I still haven't had time to write or edit my novels this year. And the other day I started writing a new short story...

Post-Christmas poops

I got my Christmas present when my oldest cat Kali did three big, loose poops on Christmas Eve... and continued to poop and eventually have diarrhea all evening. So it's the classic case again, be careful what you wish for. And swamp there, waddle here, etc. Apparently, even smaller amount of laxative would be enough for Kali. The general guideline for cats is 0.5 ml of PEG per kilogram of body weight every other day.

I should still find an anti-kidney insufficiency agent for Kali quite quickly, preferably one she would take voluntarily. I had ordered Easypill Renal in treat form from Zooplus, but both Kali and Olivia refused to eat it. Why on earth would treats be liked by cats?

I would like to try Ipakitine, which was fine for Olivia, but caused her diarrhea due to the lactose it contains. Another option is liquid Pronefra, of which I had one opened small and two unopened large bottles, all of them expired because Olivia said no. D'oh. I tried Renata, it really didn't work for Kali either and I'm not surprised at all, it smells bad. Surprisingly, Kali has volunteered a couple of times to take WeNefro, mixed with soup-wet food broth. For Olivia, I use Porus One, but I'm not really convinced of its effectiveness when it's so different from other similar substances.

 

I should also find some (grain-free) and preferably a small kibble kidney dry food that Kali would like. After all, none of them have worked for Olivia since the beginning. And Kali doesn't eat much wet food, so dry food is more important. I have now mixed Animonda Integra protect neral with Orijen kitten, and it has worked well for both.

I feel guilt that Kali's renal insufficiency wasn't detected earlier. I had been thinking for years that it would be good to take blood tests of a senior cat from Kali. Kali went to the vet last year, but no blood tests were taken. Should have realized to ask for them myself.

We'll see when Kali stops eating again. It's scary what happens when the two-week course of Mirataz ends.

 

Fortunately, Olivia had a better phase when Kali was sick. Earlier, Olivia's situation seemed bad when even Kaopekt no longer seemed to help her diarrhea. But then something strange happened. Olivia was without diarrhea medicine for many days and did not have diarrhea. On the contrary, the longer the diarrhea medicine wasn't given, the firmer the stool was. Honestly, there doesn't seem to be any logic in its diarrhea anymore. Can't understand. But after about a week without diarrhea medication, the completely liquid diarrhea came back again. Even after that, it has been a bit like that Kaopekt helps better when given less frequently.

Olivia should be taken to the vet, but I can't know which local vet would actually do something about it. They should investigate what is causing the diarrhea. And at least one thing that should be done to examine it is to examine its excrement. They should also find out if it has any bacteria. The previous vet didn't examine anything and gave up. A pointless trip to the vet without anything really being examined or really getting any help is the last thing I want in this situation. But when it is known that Olivia has chronic kidney disease and there is also something wrong with her liver, is there any hope that her diarrhea could ever be cured?

 

 

Fortunately, I was doing quite well myself when Kali was sick. Earlier in December, I was in bad shape for a week. The pains started from the chin and below it, between the chin and neck. They also spread to the face. Actually, when I held my hand against my cheek for a few seconds, it caused severe pain in my cheek for a long time. Then a horrible inflamed feeling spread over almost the whole body. Then endometriosis pain, joint pain, nausea, neck pain. But what confused me the most was the inflamed feeling under my chin. I can't tell what caused it. There was really no fever, I took my temperature for fun one evening and it was 35.7. Before, I was troubled by "just" bad endometriosis pains, and I didn't even go outside for probably more than a couple of weeks.

And as for that Christmas, it was a rare Christmas-less Christmas, even by my standards. No listening to Christmas carols, I watched my traditional Christmas movie Home Alone 2 for less than half an hour, no board games, not even an elf hat. I bought myself a Casino online lottery as a gift, as I usually buy myself a lottery on my birthday and Christmas. I won 10 euros with a bet of 6 euros, which is not enough to celebrate the New Year!

 

We with sore asses

I'm stressing too much now about the lack of income and other things. There's nothing that can be done, but I think it's so wrong that you work for years with very low wages and hours, and then you're punished with no unemployment benefit . If I hadn't made the mistake of agreeing to part-time jobs, I wouldn't be without income now. I spend a lot of money on cats and food. Just yesterday, I noticed that the price of the olive oil I use had suddenly jumped up by several euros. This situation really makes me want to cry.

 

When the nausea finally subsided, a new symptom struck again. A noise in the head, probably tinnitus. On the first day it was tum tum tum and then a different length of break. I first wondered if there was a work machine nearby, but no. The other day, a much louder full-time roar. Actually, it was already more difficult to hear speech when I have another ear blocked anyway and now I had tinnitus on the side of the hearing ear. So that every time you think about what to comes next... just shit. Fortunately, the tinnitus disappeared after a couple of days. 

Since Sunday, I have had pain in the ass. After all, I've had that pain in the ass every now and then during the last few years, because of supposed endometriosis. But now the pain is constant, and makes it hard to sit and concentrate. I really hope that pain will disappear with the cycle. If it stays, it's not good. In addition, there have been occasional nagging pains on one side of the lower back.

 

After the last time I complained about it, Olivia stopped vomiting. But yesterday it made diarrhea on the parquet floor in the bedroom. Only the sounds of farting revealed its secret activities. And it really seemed like an intentional act, not an accident or incontinence. Why would a cat poop in the wrong place? I can't think of any other reason than the pain of pooping, that the cat wishes it wouldn't hurt in a new place. Of course, Olivia's bum has to endure a lot when it has to cleaned by humans after every diarrhea, at worst several times a day.

Last week, Tabitha didn't eat for one day. At first I thought it was because of its blocked nose, but it seemed that she just had no appetite at all. She didn't even want to try to smell the food. The next day and after that, Tabitha has had an appetite to make up for that. But she has been throwing up too much for the past few days. Of course, she has been able to get hair out at least a couple of times, but still it is always possible that it could be caused by the worsening of her hyperthyroidism.

 

 

That dog food scandal is absolutely terrible. The fact that dogs have died and been euthanized for no reason. I was supposed to order last weekend from Musti and mirri when there was a sale code, but I really didn't do it. It's a bit suspicious to even feed Smaak wet food to cats now.

Foldable exercise bike

After my job ended in a short run, I've been thinking about my physical condition even more than money. My work was physically demanding and thanks to that I have stayed in some kind of (muscular) condition. I wouldn't want to get into the same mess I was in 20 years ago, but I'm really lazy to move voluntarily.

 

 

I've been dreaming of an exercise bike, but this apartment can't fit one. So I dreamed of a collapsible exercise bike, but I thought there were no such things. But yes, there are. For less than a hundred euros, you could get a folding exercise bike that still weighs less than 10 kilos, so I could almost manage to move it myself.

I was looking at a folding exercise bike from Hobby Hall. But now there have been real difficulties with the Hobby hall shopping Basket because it is constantly emptying. Actually, for example, the item added to the shopping cart just half an hour ago disappeared from it. It hasn't even been many years since I ordered from Hobby hall, and I don't remember that there was such a problem back then. I even tried with two different browsers, and in both the items from the Hobby Hall shopping cart disappeared. It's a shame, because you can get a lot of other nice things from Hobby Hall, such as lovely animal-themed duvet covers (I already have this guinea pig version) and Orijen for cats for less than many other stores.

 

 

I read in the reviews of the exercise bike I'm planning to buy that it doesn't have enough resistance. That's what I was a little afraid of. Actually, I would prefer a cross trainer, but they are not collapsible, they cost more and weigh too much.

But the problem is, of course, that I want muscle fitness (legs), not aerobic exercise, which is not even possible for me anymore because of diaphragm/lung endometriosis. So anyway, an exercise bike is not necessarily the most suitable device for me. Maybe a stepper would suit me better, I don't know.

There's a bit of a rush with this thing, because winter has brutally arrived again and I wouldn't be interested in going out into life-threatening slippery conditions and snow.