With the power of rage

All my shoes fell apart at once. I was going to the library and I was going to put on my summer sneakers. Well, there was already a hole in them that was a little too big, the white sock was showing too much. I then put on my other sneakers, which were decades old, bought in Anttila and was already walking out the door. Then, luckily, on the stairs, I noticed that the sole of one of the shoes was starting to come off. I had to put on my winter shoes, which have holes on both sides in both shoes, I was a bit scared to see if they would last the whole trip.

I already looked at the cheap Chinese shoe selection at Citymarket with that in mind, but then I found 7 (!!) pairs of sneakers in the wardrobe, 6 of which were unused. I knew about maybe two of those pairs... I thought I mostly had high heels, but apparently I also have sneakers. So I have sometimes bought cheap shoes to stock up on, sneakers never lasted long at work.

 

photo: Effin' Birds (affiliate link)

 

Then I borrowed a book from the library that I had already read. Now that I started going to the library again after a long time, I had already been through something like that once before. And even then it was a book by Tess Gerritsen... what does that say? I wouldn't be able to keep up with what books I've read without Goodreads.

I used to always read Stephen King's books in English right away, now I'm so caught up that the Finnish translations have already been published. Holly just doesn't inspire me, and neither does King himself. I stopped following him on Twitter when the corona vaccine thing was at its peak.

 

 

And so it turned out that it wasn't my fault when I didn't pass the exam. Almost no one did, even if they had gotten full marks in the practice exams like I did. But the teacher still doesn't see anything wrong with themselves or the exam. Well, at least I'm in the majority of losers, and I'm not the only one who's stressing about the retake exam. I already said out loud that my studies would end if I didn't pass that retake exam, because it's a mandatory course and I don't think I could know the topics in that section better even if I took the entire course again.

 

 

In honor of May Day, a picture of a one-year-old balloon. A year ago, I never thought it would last longer than my cats. There are no more cats to tease with balloons, they were afraid of them.

 

 

I can't bear it

So it happened again that last week when I was on my way to the dental hygienist's appointment, I got a message that the appointment had been canceled due to a broken device. It's not the first time this has happened to me. Do those devices really break down that often, or have I been cursed? When I made a new appointment, there were no appointments at all at first. Then there was only on the day I had an exam. And the next ones were over a month away. Somehow it feels like something is wrong. And now I couldn't pass the exam in question... and the retake exam is on the same day as the appointment with the dental hygienist. Not that there's any chance of passing the retake either.

The weather was already too warm again. If I can't stand +16 degrees, what will summer bring? I hate it when I sweat and feel bad. And having to take a shower as soon as I get home. And having to spend a lot of money on mineral water. My skin already got burnt.

 

 

 

Easter?

I actually watched Gone with the Wind, it's still an epic movie. And then I had to start reading the book again. "Scarlett O'Hara wasn't beautiful..."

 

On Good Friday I ate too much when I mixed broccoli with (corn) pasta, and I also ate ice cream. I felt like throwing up the night between Saturday and Sunday because of it. On Sunday I was nauseated because I was hungry, and then after eating I was nauseated because of nauseating food (meat loaf). I think all food, especially meat, is so disgusting these days. Only some snacks would interest me, i.e. chocolate, ice cream and some yoghurts/curds. But so-called real food? No thanks.

It's a bit annoying that I've been paying service fees to my bank like an idiot for decades. I should have closed my costly account when the free one became available.

May 7th will be exactly 30 years since Finland's first win at ice hockey world championship. I was hoping that Yle would show the final "live" (again) to honor it (I even made a wish to Yle about this), but no. They only show a documentary about it.

 

Remembering my cat Tabitha

Today would have been Tabitha's birthday, she passed away last August. All the pictures in this post are from August 2007, when I got Tabitha.

My first contact with Tabitha was when I heard her meowing behind the front door of my apartment, even before my friend had time to ring the doorbell. Tabitha was always a loud screamer in the carrier.

 

 

My friend knew that I wanted a cat, and her friend had a couple of kittens available. I just had to decide whether I wanted a girl or a boy. I wanted a girl, and so Tabitha, or Tapsa, came to me. I took the name Tabitha from the book Nine lives - A year in the life of a cat family (affiliate link). But over time, Tabitha just became Tapsa, which is a boy's name. So the vets always wondered about it. A girl named Tapsa!

 

 

 

What happened to Tabitha's brother? All I know is that there was a dog in Tabitha's childhood home. And apparently there was no scratching post, because Tabitha didn't know how to use one. Tabitha also wasn't socialized, so she was afraid of strangers and didn't like other cats.

 

 

Tabitha was happy being the only cat in the house. I should have realized never to get more cats.